Assamese Marriage Customs
It was in last December, I went to Sibsagar, Assam for my sister-in-law’s marriage. That day, I traveled through Jetlite flight from Delhi to Dibrugarh. My husband already went there on 1st of December for early marriage preparation. After I reached Dibrugarh, he was waiting there to pick-up me. It takes one hour to reach home from airport via car. Many of our relatives and friends already stayed at the Biya Ghar (Wedding House) from the last few days to help out with the marriage preparation. The next day was called Juron. Juron is celebrated before two days from the marriage ceremony. That day, the groom’s mother and her relatives came to the bride’s home.
The dora (groom) does not take part in Juron’s ritual. Actually, he is not allowed to come to bride’s home from the ‘Tamul-Pan diya’ day till the marriage day. The tamul (betel nut) and paan (a leaf) are the most important part of the assamese tradition. In ‘Tamul-Pan diya’ day, groom’s parents came to koina’s (bride) home to formalize a convenient marriage date. They match groom and bride’s suworani (Janam Patrika) and choose a final date for marriage. After which, bride has to gesture groom’s parents and relatives by touching feet.
In the day of juron, groom’s family members are welcomed by bride’s family members at the threshold of the biya ghar. The bride’s mother welcome groom’s mother with a tamul-pan filled xhorai (a brass artifact) covered with gamocha. The groom’s mother also carries an xhorai containing tamul-pan and both the mothers exchange these tamul-pan. Then the ritual called naam-prasang held at the biya ghar for the well-wishing of both the families.
The main purohit worship and perform naam prasang. Then the bride is led to the biya ghar, where the grooms’s mother and the woman relatives sit. Then the groom’s mother perform the ‘Tel Diya’ custom, in which she places the engagement ring in the parting of the bride’s head and pour oil there three times by using an betel leaf. Groom’s mother mark bride’s forehead with sindoor (vermilion) and accept her as a daughter-in-law. Thereafter bride is gifted to wear many wedding dresses (mekhala chador) and jewelries. She wear the jewelries and a mekhala chador among these and lead to the place where the groom’s family members who are performing naam are seated. Then bride gesture groom’s parents and relatives by touching feet which is called Hewa.
The day after Joron is called Rokha (Waiting day). That day bride can take rest and at night all the relatives and family members sing and take part in traditional dance and wedding song (Biya naam). The next day is the main marriage day. The women and girls sing traditional song and help the bride to dress and make up. Thereafter she has to chant mantra as told by a purohit in front of God’s idol.
The bride and groom have to fast that day, they eat only milk and fruits and after the houm (a sacred fire in front of which the marriage held) they can break their fast together. From the morning bride’s family friends and relatives came to wish her for her new life. The feast held whole day.
At night, the ‘Pani Tula’ ritual held at both the bride and groom’s home. The bride and groom’s mother and relatives went to a sacred lake or river to bring holy water. Thereafter the ‘Nuani’ ritual held at their home. In this ritual, their mothers apply raw turmeric and moong dal paste on them and they take bath using this holy water. Thereafter both the bride and groom have to dress and make up for the marriage. The bride wears the main off white wedding dress and jewelry and the groom wears off white silk kurta, white dhoti and a garland made of leaves of Tulsi in his forehead. Thereafter, the groom along with his relatives came to bride’s home. He is welcomed with washing his feet by bride’s sister. Before grooms’ arrival the bride’s mother performs puza in the sacred place in her home and then she welcomes him. The bride’s father and brother also welcome him by giving him gifts and warm embrace.
The groom’s best friend (Dora dhora) accompanies him with a black umbrella. The groom’s welcome ceremony is called ‘Dora Aadora’. The groom covers his face with a handkerchief to hide his emotion. Then bride’s maternal uncle lifts and takes to the marriage venue where the ceremonial fire or the houm is. The bride mother then went inside home as she is not allowed to see the Haum. Then the purohit starts reciting the marriage mantras. When the proper time called Kanyadaan Lagna arrives the bride is lifted by her maternal uncle to sit nearby the groom. The groom chants the mantras as told by the purohit and both the bride and groom take wedding vows. The bride’s father formally gives his daughters hand to groom’s hand, which signifies that from that day onward the bride’s responsibility is in the groom’s hand. The women from both the bride and groom’s family then sing Biya Naam and make merriment through poking at one another. In the meantime the groom’s family and relatives have dinner there. After the completion of marriage ceremony the bride bids adieu her parents and relatives.
When the bride and the groom reach the groom’s home, groom’s mother welcomes the bride performing traditional Aarti. This custom is called Griha Pravesh and from that day onward she became a member of the groom’s family. There are some games related to wedding are played in between the bride and the groom for merriment. The next day, the bride returns to her parent’s home to spend the day with her family and this custom is called Khubakhubuni. That day she takes rest. The next day she was again led to groom’s home and she is introduced with groom’s family members and a feast held with groom’s family and relatives.
After eight days of the marriage, the ritual called Aath Mangala held, in that day the bride along with the groom and a few family members went to bride’s home. The groom is introduced to bride’s family and relatives and they both present them gifts and take the elders blessings by touching their feet.
Thus a marriage in the assamese culture happen with different rituals to celebrate a couples new life.
In the day of juron, groom’s family members are welcomed by bride’s family members at the threshold of the biya ghar. The bride’s mother welcome groom’s mother with a tamul-pan filled xhorai (a brass artifact) covered with gamocha. The groom’s mother also carries an xhorai containing tamul-pan and both the mothers exchange these tamul-pan. Then the ritual called naam-prasang held at the biya ghar for the well-wishing of both the families.
The main purohit worship and perform naam prasang. Then the bride is led to the biya ghar, where the grooms’s mother and the woman relatives sit. Then the groom’s mother perform the ‘Tel Diya’ custom, in which she places the engagement ring in the parting of the bride’s head and pour oil there three times by using an betel leaf. Groom’s mother mark bride’s forehead with sindoor (vermilion) and accept her as a daughter-in-law. Thereafter bride is gifted to wear many wedding dresses (mekhala chador) and jewelries. She wear the jewelries and a mekhala chador among these and lead to the place where the groom’s family members who are performing naam are seated. Then bride gesture groom’s parents and relatives by touching feet which is called Hewa.
The day after Joron is called Rokha (Waiting day). That day bride can take rest and at night all the relatives and family members sing and take part in traditional dance and wedding song (Biya naam). The next day is the main marriage day. The women and girls sing traditional song and help the bride to dress and make up. Thereafter she has to chant mantra as told by a purohit in front of God’s idol.
The bride and groom have to fast that day, they eat only milk and fruits and after the houm (a sacred fire in front of which the marriage held) they can break their fast together. From the morning bride’s family friends and relatives came to wish her for her new life. The feast held whole day.
At night, the ‘Pani Tula’ ritual held at both the bride and groom’s home. The bride and groom’s mother and relatives went to a sacred lake or river to bring holy water. Thereafter the ‘Nuani’ ritual held at their home. In this ritual, their mothers apply raw turmeric and moong dal paste on them and they take bath using this holy water. Thereafter both the bride and groom have to dress and make up for the marriage. The bride wears the main off white wedding dress and jewelry and the groom wears off white silk kurta, white dhoti and a garland made of leaves of Tulsi in his forehead. Thereafter, the groom along with his relatives came to bride’s home. He is welcomed with washing his feet by bride’s sister. Before grooms’ arrival the bride’s mother performs puza in the sacred place in her home and then she welcomes him. The bride’s father and brother also welcome him by giving him gifts and warm embrace.
The groom’s best friend (Dora dhora) accompanies him with a black umbrella. The groom’s welcome ceremony is called ‘Dora Aadora’. The groom covers his face with a handkerchief to hide his emotion. Then bride’s maternal uncle lifts and takes to the marriage venue where the ceremonial fire or the houm is. The bride mother then went inside home as she is not allowed to see the Haum. Then the purohit starts reciting the marriage mantras. When the proper time called Kanyadaan Lagna arrives the bride is lifted by her maternal uncle to sit nearby the groom. The groom chants the mantras as told by the purohit and both the bride and groom take wedding vows. The bride’s father formally gives his daughters hand to groom’s hand, which signifies that from that day onward the bride’s responsibility is in the groom’s hand. The women from both the bride and groom’s family then sing Biya Naam and make merriment through poking at one another. In the meantime the groom’s family and relatives have dinner there. After the completion of marriage ceremony the bride bids adieu her parents and relatives.
When the bride and the groom reach the groom’s home, groom’s mother welcomes the bride performing traditional Aarti. This custom is called Griha Pravesh and from that day onward she became a member of the groom’s family. There are some games related to wedding are played in between the bride and the groom for merriment. The next day, the bride returns to her parent’s home to spend the day with her family and this custom is called Khubakhubuni. That day she takes rest. The next day she was again led to groom’s home and she is introduced with groom’s family members and a feast held with groom’s family and relatives.
After eight days of the marriage, the ritual called Aath Mangala held, in that day the bride along with the groom and a few family members went to bride’s home. The groom is introduced to bride’s family and relatives and they both present them gifts and take the elders blessings by touching their feet.
Thus a marriage in the assamese culture happen with different rituals to celebrate a couples new life.
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